Today you are 25. This would have been a milestone year for you, despite the craziness of 2020. For starters, it is likely your insurance rates would be dropping - assuming you had kept a clean driving record. You would also be a college graduate by now and hopefully, be working in your dream job as a fire medic. I wonder how many lives you would have saved, how much comfort you might have brought to someone in the aftermath of an accident or tragedy. It's also likely you would be married by now and maybe even a dad. That would make me a grandma and I would be so proud. You'd probably have a house now and hopefully enough room in a basement or in-law suite for me. After all, I'd need to be able to see my grandchild daily and be ready to babysit anytime!
So many things I believe you would have accomplished, so many things I feel we were both cheated out of experiencing. It's really very simple, I miss you. I miss all the things that might have been. Some days it still hurts to breathe and some days I manage to pretend nothing is wrong. Some days I even manage to function normally, but the truth is, nothing will ever be the same again. There will always be a piece of my heart that is missing. Yes, I still love Jesus, and this is what makes it possible for me to breathe each day without you here. Knowing I will get to be with you again is the hope I need.
Thank you for the 20+ years we did get to spend together. Thank you for being the first one in the pool once the gate was open. Thank you for providing so much entertainment as the batboy for Matt's travel team. Thank you for all the foot rubs and back massages. Thank you for the sweet and silent ways you showed you loved me too. Thank you for making me a mom a second time. Thank you for being the annoying little brother to Matt. Thank you for never backing down from a dare and for your competitive spirit. Thank you for all the joy and for all the tears. Thank you for being you. Thank you for letting me love you. Thank God I am your mom.
Happy Birthday My Angel. I love you forever.
