Birth Month - Day 15

Andrew didn't have a lot of "causes" but one thing he always supported was breast cancer research.  When he was only 5, we lost my stepmother (Michael, Sara, and Carey's mom) to breast cancer.  Because he was only 5 and she was diagnosed when he was only 2, he didn't really know her well.  But he watched the effect it had on my younger brother and sisters.  Then my mom died from another form of cancer, a brain tumor, in 2008 and then a couple of years later my Aunt Sandra (my mom's sister) was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Once Sandra was well enough, we decided to contribute to the cause.  We signed up to do a Susan G. Komen walk at Atlantic Station.  When I asked Andrew he immediately said yes and got Natalia on board too.  Then my Aunt Becky and Uncle Mike joined as well as Sandra's husband, my Uncle Bob.  Sandra and I raised enough money to be in the top 100 and got special shirts with our names on them, as well as having our names displayed on the big board at the party area at the finish line.

I'm so proud Andrew joined in to help raise money for a nasty cancer that has greatly impacted our lives.  Though my mom didn't die from breast cancer, I believe a cure found for any cancer will lead to a cure for them all.  Andrew needed no convincing to do this I just had to ask him if he wanted too.  This is one of the ways he showed his love for his family and others.  He might not have been verbal but he always showed up for what was important.  Actions do speak louder than words.

Here are some photos from that day.

Birth Month - Day 14

I love friendships that stand the test of time.  The kind where you can not talk to someone for years but pick right back up where you left off.  Those where you forget which stories you've shared but never mind hearing them retold even if you have.  One of those friends for me is Tami Moore.  She and I have been friends since Andrew was two.  She also has two sons, Keith and Christopher.  Christopher and Matt are the same age.  Keith is older but was a wonderful buddy for Andrew as Chris and Matt played basketball.  They all attended the same after school program at church, and since Tami and I were both single moms, we spent much time swapping kids to get a break.  As the boys grew up we saw each other less but always remained close friends.  Tami is just like a second mom to Andrew and has probably cried as much as I have these past few months.  Her birthday is also this month just a few days before Andrew's and she knows I'm struggling as Andrew's birthday nears.

We decided to meet up for lunch today and I suggested J. Christopher's.  This restaurant has been a long time favorite of my families and was the first place Andrew ever worked.  He got the job through his friend Brandon Radman.  They worked there together through their senior year and summer before heading off to college.  As I was waiting for our table, Brandon saw me and came over to give me a big hug and ask how I was doing.  What a sweet and kind young man, to remember me, to care enough to hug my neck and to talk to me.  We ended up sitting in his section and having great service.  Brandon told me he was now at UGA, had just finished up his summer classes and had a year and half to go until graduation.  I am so proud for him.  He was a good friend to Andrew and I remember dropping off and picking up Andrew many times from Brandon's house.

J. Christopher's was a good first job for Andrew.  It taught him about getting up early on the weekends, cleaning up after other people, being part of a team known for good service, and he ended up learning to make a great omelette.  Natalia and I were happy with his new found cooking skills.  He eventually left that job to join the hospital but they were good to him.  One of the things I really liked that they did was list their high school graduates on the menus each spring.  That meant every person coming to the restaurant knew they employed high school students and those students had plans beyond high school.  When it was Andrew's time, I made sure to snap a photo of the menu, which also included Brandon.  Congratulations to those kids and thanks to J. Christopher's for recognizing them.  Good Luck to Brandon as he continues his college journey.

Birth Month - Day 13

We are very fortunate to have an Aunt and Uncle who have a vacation home in Panama City Beach.  Even more fortunate is that they allow us to use it, which is the only way we were able to take vacations.  In 2003, on one of our visits we went to Gulf World.  Gulf World is like a mini (and I do mean mini) Sea World.  They have wonderfully entertaining shows with furry friends (birds, dogs, and cats), along with a dolphin show and a sea lion show.  After each of those shows you can have your picture taken with the stars of the shows.  I convinced Andrew to have his picture taken with the sea lion.  He was first up and it took about 15 seconds.  They told him to sit down and look straight ahead.  Then on the command the sea lion turned to Andrew and gave him a kiss as they photo was snapped.

Fast forward to 2014 and Natalia joined us for Spring Break in Panama City Beach.  She had never been to Gulf World so of course we took her.  After the sea lion show, the announcer let the audience know about the photo opportunity, and included that the sea lion to be in the photo was the same one since we were there in 2003.  At that point I forced Andrew to have his photo made again with the sea lion.  So, below you'll see the same kid and same sea lion - 11 years apart.  I love having these photos!

Birth Month - Day 12

As with most boys and sports, or boys who have the same first name, it is common for them to be called by their last name.  Matt was always Carson when he started sports. Andrew didn't really start getting called Carson until high school.  When Matt started dating his girlfriend, Alexandra (Alex for short), her family referred to him as Carson. Alex has a younger sister, Mackenzie (Mack for short).  Mack loved her some Carson and I think she felt like he was her boyfriend as much as he was Alex's.

Andrew and I were invited to attend fireworks with Alex's family for July 4th in 2013.  Mack was 3 or 4 then.  When we got to their house and introductions took place, Andrew was introduced as Carson.  Mack didn't understand how this could happen, but was completely enchanted by Andrew.  It was probably his beautiful blue eyes.  Mack ditched Matt and adopted Andrew as her boyfriend and naturally, Andrew was happy to indulge her as it meant he was favored over Matt.  Remember, they are both super competitive (no idea where they get it)!

Anyway, Mack spent the evening hanging with Andrew and it was then I thought he would make a good dad.  Until that night, I hadn't witnessed Andrew engage with little kids and enjoy it.  He just kind of stood in the background and admired them from afar.  But with Mack he let her sit in his lap, play on his phone, and talk his ear off.  He had patience and made sure she was safe.  He would have made a good dad. I'm sad I'll never hold his child in my arms, but I'm grateful to have this memory of how he could have been as a dad one day.  Stupid motorcycle.

Birth Month - Day 11

Another group of folks Andrew and I worked with at the hospital is known as the Census Team.  They ensure all the patients are kept straight on their actual location, among many other "duties as assigned".  They gifted me this scrapbook book, which has pages inside this box so it makes for great storage.  It's once again the perfect way for me to preserve memories of Andrew in a way I am already familiar with and love.  Thank you Census Team!  (Note: those are not pictures of Andrew or our family, they are the stock photos that come with the purchase.)

Birth Month - Day 10

Ask any woman what she carries in her purse and the answer is usually her "essentials".  For some that is make-up, credit cards, or coupons.  For me it is pens, I love a good pen and I usually have several in my purse at all times.  I think for men it must be the same with regards to their wallets.  If you snoop through a man's wallet you'll likely find the things he values, even more than the money it might contain.

When Andrew died, he had no actual cash in his wallet.  He didn't like cash, he liked his debit card and credit card.  He also had his social security card, driver's license, and insurance card.  Standard stuff really for any man's wallet.  But if you looked at what he folded up and tucked away in his wallet, you could see what he truly valued.  

Here's what was in his wallet the day he died:

The receipt from the Michael Kors purse he bought Natalia for Christmas.

The ticket stubs from the last two movies they saw together.

And here's the one that brought tears to my eyes.  The ticket from the Falcons game in December 2014.  That's what Chris (my brother) had give us for Christmas that year - tickets to a Falcons game. So Matt, Andrew and I went.  I don't really remember much about it, other than the outrageous prices for parking (we paid $40).  But it meant enough to Andrew to hold on to the ticket.  Either he really enjoyed the game, hanging with Matt and I, or wanted to remember what Chris had given us.  No matter the actual reason, it was special enough for Andrew to hold on to it.  Gosh I miss him!

Birth Month - Day 9

After Andrew got his motorcycle and financed the balance he owed with Honda, he received a survey in the mail.  Along with the survey was a brand new crisp $1 bill.  He was so excited to have brand new money, which I reminded him was available at a bank, but it really somehow made him feel extra special.  The dollar was of course enclosed as a "thank you in advance" for completing the survey.  Had they not included the dollar Andrew might have skipped the survey, but he felt obligated to complete it, otherwise he said it felt like he was stealing.  He kept this dollar on desk, determined not to spend it or ruin its "crispness".  Zeus took care of that for him, by taking a bite out of it. Andrew still kept it - and so will Natalia now.