Birth Month - Day 30

As Andrew’s birth month is nearing the end, I thought I would share a very personal letter I received.  This is a letter from a woman I have never met, but am completely jealous of, yet at the same time eternally grateful to her.  You see, she was the one who held Andrew the day of his crash.  She was the one who encouraged him to hang on, letting him know the ambulance was coming, and she cared enough to ask for his name.  Then she cared enough to let me know he was not alone.  While I’ll always wish I could have been the one to hold Andrew as he died so I could tell him one last time how much I loved him, I am thankful God chose this woman (I’m not using her name to protect her privacy – she will see this and can comment if she is okay with others knowing it was her) to be in Andrew’s life, even if only for minutes.  Here is her story:

“Dear Ms. Carson,

My name is XXX.  I am writing to you about your son Andrew.

I was at the scene of Andrew’s accident.  I thought some information about that day might bring you some comfort and closure.  I hope this letter provides some of both for you.

This is an incredibly difficult letter to write.  To find the words to express my experience at the accident is quite challenging.  I wrote a statement for the police report, but kept it as plain and factual as possible, leaving out the emotions and thoughts I’ve had.  I assume you’ll have access to the police report once they finish, and can read that info if you so choose.  I’m writing this letter to express the human side, the emotional side, the thoughtful side of my experience.

I have looked at your Facebook page several times.  I’ve also read the blog you’ve been writing recently about grieving Andrew.  I hope that this is ok.  It has helped me process all that happened and helped me to know you might want this letter.

The day of the accident I was driving from my house in Canton, to my brother-in-law’s house in Monroe, GA.  I had 2 of my kids with me.  I was running late, and some “random route” that wasn’t even what google maps was telling me to take.

I was filling up my van with gas at the time of the accident, at the gas station right there.  I heard the crash, but did not see it.  Many people ran over to the accident scene.  I finished my gas purchase and drive my van over to see if I could do anything to help, although wasn’t sure what I’d be able to do, having my kids in the car with me.

There was a crowd of people around the scene.  I asked a few people what had happened.  I was informed it was a motorcycle and car crash.  It was then that I saw Andrew, lying on the ground near his bike.  Before I could ask anyone for information on what happened, I saw Andrew pick up his head and try to move.

I ran to him. I told him not to move. Another young man, probably around 20 years old was near him telling him the same thing.  Without much thinking or hesitation, I cradled Andrew’s head and neck to help him hold still.  I told him my name, that I would help him, told him 911 has been called, told him help was coming.  I hope that he heard me, and I am confident that he knew I was there with him.  He stopped trying to move and his head rested on my forearm.

Another lady named XXX (also protecting her privacy), prayed over all of us.

I desperately wanted to call him by his name.  Saying “sir” when talking to him didn’t feel right/enough.  The guy that was kneeling with me next to Andrew helped to find his work badge in his backpack.  We were able to call him by his name at that point.  I wanted him to feel surrounded by people that cared enough to help, cared enough to call him by his name.

I do not know at what point he lost consciousness, but I did notice his head got heavier on my arm and his breathing was getting more labored.  But I talked to him regardless, I wanted him to know he was NOT alone.

As the sirens and emergency vehicles were heard/seen, I was telling him to hold on.  I telling him they were near.  Me and the other guy were telling him to breathe!!!  There were longer and longer spaces between each breath.  But he did keep fighting to breathe, especially every time we would call his name.  I had hoped that if he was able to survive the impact of the crash, he may have a chance of surviving the accident.

The paramedics took over, and I walked away to check on my kids in the van.  It was not until Friday evening that I was able to do some searching on google and found out Andrew had not survived his injuries.  It was then I realized I probably was holding him in some of his last moments and breaths.  I hope and pray that I brought comfort to him in those moments.  I kept thinking that if it was my brother or my son, or my husband, I wouldn’t want them to have been alone.  And I am thankful for the opportunity through God’s providence to have been there with Andrew.

I am writing this letter to make sure you know Andrew was not alone.  He was prayed over.  People tried to help him as best they could.

I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to injuries and blood and such.  But I wanted you to know I was brave for your son.  I do not allow my panic or fear to settle in.  I wanted to be a source of comfort and peace for him in what had to have been a painful and scary time.

I am a very religious person, and have asked many people to pray for me, Andrew, you, and all those who loved him.  From your writings, it appears you have faith in Jesus as well.  Please know HUNDREDS of people have been praying for you all.  Being very religious and being present at the accident scene so close to Easter, my experience of the Easter promise this year was intense.  I am thankful fate/life/God had me running late and on some “random route” to my destination that Thursday.  Like I said, I have looked at the things you’ve posted on Facebook in an effort to get to know the man that has so immensely impacted my life through this experience.  The pictures on Facebook show Andrew with such gentle and warm eyes!

I cannot imagine the grief you must be experiencing in losing your child.  I am so sorry for your loss.  As I stated earlier, I hope this letter is helpful in your grieving process.

With much love and prayer,

XXX”

Thank God good people still exist, jump in to help in a crisis, and offer comfort to those who grieve.  I am truly blessed and in awe of a God who would make sure Andrew was surrounded by love.  Although thanks do not seem to be enough, it is all I have to offer this woman.  My deepest and sincerest thanks go to her daily for what she did for Andrew.